


haven't slept since summer

by glory_box



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Loss of Virginity, Power Imbalance, Rape/Non-con Elements, Revenge, Sexual Bullying, Sexual Tension, Sexual Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-16 11:49:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21035774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glory_box/pseuds/glory_box
Summary: Looking for a way to make trials a little more exciting, Susie accepts a dare from Julie to tease a survivor, and the stunts quickly begin escalating out of control.Susie thinks that her taunting is totally harmless. Right up to the day David King decides that he's tired of being teased.





	haven't slept since summer

**Author's Note:**

> I've been seeing a lot of noncon with David at the center lately, so here's my contribution to that trend. I also noticed that there's not a whole lot of survivor-on-killer noncon in this game's tag, so that was a motivation for this too. 
> 
> This fic gets sort of depressing right around the middle. Sorry about that.

Susie doesn't really mean to taunt him.  
  
It starts off as this stupid sort of thing with Julie, just dumb truth or dare stuff they came up with when they were trying to make the sacrificial trials a little less monotonous. Once you'd run around stabbing a bunch of people and throwing them on meat hooks a couple times, you were pretty much full up on that experience for life- for Susie, anyway, who doesn't feel the call of the hunt the way Frank seems to, or the way Julie and Joey pretend to.  
  
So when Julie asks, _Which of 'em do you think is hot?_ Susie responds with the first thing to come to mind, which is, _The big British guy, I guess?_  
  
_Then I dare you to grab his ass next time you see him,_ Julie says.  
  
It makes Susie laugh, but it also makes her feel embarrassed, because both she and Julie know that she's not that kind of person. She's never been good around boys for as long as she can remember. They've always been frightening, and throughout her life she found girls so much softer and kinder and prettier to look at that she never really felt like she missed anything by choosing not to pay much attention to boys, who usually leave her with anxiety anyway. But she and Julie aren't bratty little preteens any more. They're _different_ now, aren't they? Older. Almost adults. And they've been chosen by the Entity they now served, a dubious honor that Frank seems to liken to ascending to a sort of godhood. Whatever it is, they're all different people now. She's a different Susie.  
  
So she eventually does it, waiting for a trial where he might appear, reaching up to pinch the _big British guy_ on the rear when she's next got him on a hook. That first time, he responds by staring at her incredulously and then laughing. He laughs right up until the Entity's twisted limbs come down to gather him for its meal. That's the only time he responds to her behavior with a smile. Never again after that.  
  
When Julie is informed that she pulled off the dare, she seems amazed that her shy friend actually did it, and Susie realizes that it was kind of _exciting,_ so she stays at it when Julie tosses out increasingly ludicrous suggestions, like _flash your tits_ (Susie vetoes that one) and _just offer him a BJ_ (_'Ew, no!'_ says Susie). But, encouraged by her best friend, she starts toying with him a little. Just small things, like sliding a hand under his shirt when she's got him injured on the ground to feel his muscular abdomen, or running a hand down his leg when she has him hanging up for sacrifice. It's thrilling, and while it obviously angers him, she knows that there is nothing he can do about it, and she figures it's pretty much harmless, anyway. She starts to feel a little disappointed whenever she steps onto the ritual grounds and realizes that her chosen object of obsession isn't there.  
  
She eventually learns what his name is when she hears other survivors shouting it during trials.  
  
"Hello, David," she greets him at the first opportunity she can, during a tense, quick-paced trial where she's got him cornered on the second floor of the chalet. "I missed you last time!" He's already wounded from an earlier encounter with her; she'd managed to slice his arm while he'd been attempting to intervene in her efforts to hook another survivor. He tended to take a lot of damage for the others, she often noted. She preferred the survivors who acted like backstabbing assholes. They weren't as annoying to deal with.  
  
He glares at her, taking thudding, clumsy steps backwards, his wound bleeding freely all over the floor. "Didn't give you permission to use my name," he says.  
  
"Don't need it," says Susie. His face further reddens with anger, and she feels a sense of daring and pride. If only Julie could see her now.  
  
She manages to get him in the thigh so deeply that she knows she must have hit an artery. She drops to a crouch over his body as he attempts to roll over and crawl away, his thigh squirting blood in every direction. When she settles her ass on his crotch and just stares down at him through her mask, breathing loudly, she sees an expression of agony on his face. His hands fly up to claw at her thighs, attempting to push her off.  
  
"Get th'fuck off me," he slurs through the dizziness of blood loss. Susie stays right where she is and watches as the strength goes out of his arms, and they drop away from her thighs to fall at his sides. Dead. She shrugs as she gets up, wiping a smear of blood on her tights.  
  
Julie howls with laughter over it later, and Susie laughs too, although she doesn't really find it as funny as Julie seems to. Julie starts to tease her about her '_crush,_' but it's not that. It's not even really because she's attracted to David in any serious way. She doesn't want to do anything more than pinch at and poke him and giggle with Julie about it later. He's just a _survivor_, after all, just an unfortunate victim whose terrified face blends in with the rest of them.  
  
Susie's been trying hard to learn to have fun like the rest of the Legion. She _wants_ to be like the rest of them, she really does, but Susie still can't help but feel sometimes like there is something she lacks. That there's something that makes her different from Julie, and Joey, and certainly from Frank. Something that makes her the weakest link. After all, the bloodletting still makes her feel slightly nauseous when she thinks too hard about it. Frank never hesitates to roll his eyes about it. Sometimes, she returns from a trial and feels like she's had a complete out of body experience, like another person had taken over to cause the horrific bloodshed and now that it was over she could be _Susie_ again.  
  
It helps to have distractions. David suits her just fine as that distraction until the day she pushes her luck too far.  
  
David is the last survivor remaining in the trial, a simple, unchallenging ritual on Ormond's familiar grounds. She'd caught up to and taken out the other three fairly neatly. The tattooed blonde first, then the redhead. The old guy had been a little tougher, but he wasn't so resilient once he had a blade in his throat. David isn't hard to find; he stands out starkly in the white snow as he searches for the black lock, same as her. When he spots her approaching him, he turns to run.  
  
Susie is gripped immediately by the strange and familiar sensation of needing to hunt down and take him out. This compulsion came over each of the Legion during trials, to varying degrees. She feels it most when she's sprinting, everything before her just a red blur of desperation and fury.  
  
She catches up with him almost immediately. Her makeshift knife sinks in, the sharpened edge of the ruler jabbing right into David's side. The wound sprays blood when she rips it back, but all David does is put a hand over it and keep running, breathing in short snarls and curses.  
  
She runs after him in a beeline, much more light-footed and certain of how to step in the snow than her opponent. She catches up with him just outside of the lodge, where he's trying to slip behind the cover of a rock. He's much too loud for it to work anyway, with his pained panting echoing out into the cold air. Susie dashes around the other side to try to catch him.  
  
"Come on, David," she sings out, waving her bloodied knife. "You run out of stamina?"  
  
"Fuck off!" he shouts. "Would y'leave me alone, for once?!"  
  
The sheer anger in his voice makes her pause for just a moment as David bolts for the trees. Unsettled but knowing that the dark god she serves will be unhappy if she fails, Susie attempts to catch up.  
  
It happens in a blur. One moment Susie is searching for David among the brush, trying to identify the direction of his footsteps and the trail of blood he's leaving in the snow, and the next, she's on the ground, the wind knocked out of her, staring up into a blindingly grey sky.  
  
Susie rolls onto her side in the crunchy snow, whimpering. Her head throbs everywhere- inside, outside, at the top of her skull, and in her temples, too. Stiffly, she tries to get onto her hands and knees, but the blow has made her disoriented, and she collapses onto her side again, blinking.  
  
Her knife is just an arm's-length away, half-concealed in a mixture of muck and snow. She could just reach out and grab it. It wavers in her field of view, swelling and rescinding. It may as well be on the moon for all it could help her now.  
  
She hears David wheeze and realizes he's not trying to catch his breath- he's laughing richly. She forces herself to look up over her shoulder at him, not understanding. He stands there behind her, sweat-streaked, nostrils flared, and when he meets her eyes, the laughter ascends into an exhilarated howl- a victor's call. He sees exactly what she's trying to do, and he steps right over her body towards the knife. Susie watches with an empty heart as he kicks it. It goes flying off into the snow, landing somewhere she can't ascertain.  
  
David then does an about-face back towards her, dropping to a crouch. He seems so much bigger than her right now, and so much_ stronger_, even though he's holding his obviously wounded side. He's red-cheeked from the cold, or from excitement. Both, she guesses. She doesn't know why he hasn't just grabbed the knife to kill her. It's what _she_'d do, in this instant, just like it'd be what Julie or Joey or Frank would do. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_. She can just _see_ the way the others would react, if they ever found out that she'd been careless enough to allow herself to be overpowered. In her mind's eye she sees the derision on Frank's face. The disappointment on Joey's. And, worst of all, she can see the resentment on Julie's, like, _Knew we shouldn't have ever brought you along, Suze._  
  
"Let's see what we've got here," says David. His huge hands lift to her face.  
  
"Wait," gasps Susie, realizing what he intends to do. "Wait! Stop it!" She twists beneath him, trying to grapple his wrists away, but the survivor still manages to reach in, curl his fingers beneath, and yank her mask up and off of her face. He grabs at her chin right away as she tries to turn away, forcing her to look up at him.  
  
The masks had been part of the pact. They'd been an aspect of Legion right from the very beginning. When they put on the masks, a change took over. The masks helped them become one Legion. One _we._ And now David's just exposed her as _her._ As Susie. Not just Legion. Not just a killer. Maybe the others would be right to resent her.  
  
Her heart jumps in her chest, and for one strange and surreal moment, she realizes that she feels... _scared_. It's been a long time since she's felt genuinely afraid of anything, having been armored beneath the hard veneer Frank had formed around them all. But she feels it now, with her face so openly exposed to the survivor that she had teased and taunted so relentlessly.  
  
Susie feels the icy air bite her sweat-damp cheeks as they exchange a look, silent.  
  
"Mean little face on ya," David finally says. He's still grinning affably as he examines her, her jaw cupped in his chapped palm.  
  
"What? You want me to _smile_ for you?" she says, trying to keep her voice as low and steady as she can; she fears that if she doesn't, it'll waver and shatter. "The black lock is open somewhere. Just _leave._"  
  
David's eyes bulge incredulously. He chuckles. "Don't think _you_ should be telling me what t'do." His other hand grabs at her bicep, gripping tight. Susie winces. "Not after all the fun you've 'ad at my expense."  
  
Susie's never been brave. Especially around boys, let alone _men,_ like David. They reminded her of her dad, first of all, which automatically made most of them scary, and even the ones that weren't made her tongue-tied. She wants to tell David that she's not the kind of person he's trying to say she is, but given the cards laid out on the table, she doesn't have anything to draw a defense from. He hasn't seen any side of her that hasn't either hurt or teased him or _both._  
  
The nervousness ratchets up. Susie feels her hands start to shake a little.  
  
At some point, the trial has stopped being fun, if it ever was.  
  
"I thought," she forces out, defiantly as she can, "it seemed like you _liked_ it."  
  
David's eyes flash, all stormy greys and low blues. His grip on her jaw shifts. "_Shut it,_" he says thickly, his thumb moving over her lips, pressing the thin and sensitive flesh inside right into her braces. She whimpers way back in her throat. "S'all a _joke_ to you, innit?"  
  
Susie stares up at him. His thumb grinds in harder, and she feels the flesh split and tastes blood rapidly seeping in between her teeth to saturate her tongue.  
  
"We can hear ya laughing, y'know," David continues. "You an' your mates. Running 'round with those knives. _Laughing._ All this is funny to you? _Hurting_ people...?"  
  
She tries to shake her head, and David's expression sours. He lifts his knee, and she feels a violent whirlwind of panic when he plants it on her chest. It presses hard into her clavicle, and she feels her whole ribcage compress like a deflating air mattress under its weight.  
  
"Don't move," he warns, his hard blue eyes staring fixed at her until she goes still, before he resumes speaking. "I don't care what the story is. T'be honest, I couldn't tell you what makes me different'n you, and I don't care t'know. But I'll tell ya one thing. Unlike some 'a the others, _I_ don't mind playin' dirty."  
  
It's hard to breathe. All Susie can think about is how much she wants her knife. She wants her fucking knife. She wants her _fucking knife_ and she wants Julie and she wants to go home and she wants to say she's sorry for all the stupid stuff she did to him and she wants to_ kill him kill him _ for doing this to her for laying his hands on her for taking the chance to hurt her when she knows she deserves it but fuck she wants to kill him _she wants to kill him she wants to kill him it needs her to kill him it needs her to-_  
  
To her shock, his shoulders begin to tremble, and his voice is suddenly shaking with grief, which pulls her mind out of the sinkhole of fear. "_Why?_ Why do y'do it? How could you choose this? Isn't there a way to help us?"  
  
Susie's eyes are stinging. Her chest hurts pretty badly, enough to make her blink up a blur of tears that she refuses to acknowledge might be tied to the knot in her throat.  
  
"No," she whispers out behind his thumb, through her teeth.  
  
_No, I didn't choose this,_ she wants to say. _I didn't. I didn't want any of this._  
  
But she doesn't think he'd believe her. She wouldn't even blame him.  
  
David laughs mournfully. "Well," he says. "Take what I can get, I suppose."  
  
It is only now that Susie finally realizes just why he has not chosen to kill her or flee. She knows it the moment he draws his knee up to climb on top of her, his huge frame boxing her in on her freezing bed of snow. He nudges her thighs apart and reaches under her skirt with one hand. He does not hesitate; she feels his touch press against her crotch immediately. A hundred different feelings slam into her all at once, all of them negative.  
  
"No," says Susie, her voice so high it would barely qualify for a squeak. David ignores her, fingers exploring the seam of her tights at the crotch, following the line from front to back, where he eventually finds a snag. She feels him hook two fingers into the nylon and pull hard. It rips apart audibly, and she feels the cold air immediately sting her exposed inner thighs.  
  
She tries to close them, wiggling in place and trying to slide back. David grabs at her.  
  
"_Enough,_" he says in warning.  
  
"_No,_" she says again, pleading this time. Tears, hot as acid, flood into her eyes. They hurt more than the cold getting underneath her skin. "D-don't, don't, I- I'm _sorry_. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. You can leave. You can really leave, you can take the black lock, I won't even try to stop you-"  
  
David silences her with another laugh. His large hands close over her knees and split them apart so that he can settle between them. "You think I'm buyin' the sad little girl act?"  
  
The hope in Susie's chest dies. The voice in her that says the _I told you so_s now tells her that she's gotten herself into another situation she could never hope to handle.  
  
The terror is still there, but then she's angry, because it's not _fair_. It's _not_. She never wanted this. Never wanted it. _Doesn't_ want this. No. No. No.  
  
She screams and attempts to claw backwards in the snow with numbed-out, aching hands, crying out for help even though she knows that nobody's going to hear it. Julie's not about to come running to her rescue, track-star-style, and Joey's not going to be there with a solution for everything, and Frank_ especially_ wouldn't have her back, anyway. But she screams like it'll help, even though she knows it won't.  
  
"I'm not here to play games," growls David. His massive hands lock over her hips and rip her back towards his body. He's so much stronger than her that he pulls her back in instantly, making her shriek anew as snow travels up the back of her sweatshirt. He grabs her by the wrists and slams her hands down into the snow, leaning over her sweating and all too dangerous. "There, there," he says through heavy breaths, his husky voice unsteady. "Be good... This can be _easy_, y'know." He shifts to plant his forearm over her chest, preventing her from moving as he reaches down to unzip his jeans. The sound of the zipper slaps her in the face like a reality check, and Susie begins whimpering anew and trying to wiggle away beneath his heavy arm.  
  
When David pulls his cock out, Susie can first only stare at it uncomprehendingly. It's this heavy, menacing thing, looking big even in David's meaty hand, all reddish-purple and darker around the tip. She finds it grotesque. It looks nothing like she imagined a penis would look like in person. She recoils and attempts to roll over onto her side, fearing that he might ask her to touch it. He uses his forearm to press her back flat into the snow again.  
  
"What's wrong? Thought you_ wanted _ it after all that fuss." His fingers have reached to stroke at her crotch over her underwear.  
  
"No," Susie gasps, trying to pull away once more. She freezes when he pulls her underwear aside, and she feels his fingertips jab painfully into her pubic mound. She realizes with a jolt of disgust that his fingers are slick with blood, and her jaw quivers with rage, eyes turning up to him wildly. "H-hey-"  
  
"Say anythin' more and I'll make it _really_ hurt," he says. He takes his cock in his fist as Susie struggles with a sense of panic, her body going tense. She nearly yelps _no_ again, but her survival instincts kick in, noting his threat. Everything is happening far too quickly, snowballing entirely out of control: like a slow motion car crash, she can see the immediate impending danger, but she's helpless to do anything but allow it to happen.  
  
David sits up slightly. One heavy hand grabs at one of her knees to wrench it to the side; Susie feels the muscle pull painfully, and she suppresses a whine. The snow beneath her ass has already soaked all the way through her skirt and tights, making her shiver. David ignores her completely as he aligns his pelvis with hers, and at first his dick just thumps up against her pussy a few times. She can feel him trying to press in, but there's no give; her body is just too tense. David solves this issue simply by being more forceful; on his third attempt to slide inside of her, he succeeds, finally pushing himself past the tense muscles at the entrance of her cunt. He lets out a little whistle between his teeth as his weight settles into her, painfully forcing through her insides.  
  
"_Oh,_" she gasps.  
  
Susie tries to stifle her cry, but a whimper of pain leaks out of her mouth regardless. It feels like something's just impaled right _through_ her. It _hurts_. Worse than a strained muscle, or period cramps. He's too _big_, and he's stretching her open so unnaturally, and there's no way she can make her muscles relax enough to accept him. It's even worse when he starts moving, the burning feeling inside of her pussy exploding out into the rest of her body.  
  
David spares her a few seconds in which he simply seems to observe her face, his hard eyes narrowed into snakelike slits as he looks at her. But then he smiles and bucks inside of her, his hips pushing her ass up off the ground. She can feel his scratchy pubic hair rubbing into her labia, all coarse and unpleasant, every time he pushes in to the hilt. "This is what y'_wanted,_ right?"  
  
Susie wants to say no again, but she knows that David isn't looking for an answer to his question. She blinks her tears away. The discomfort is making her feel nauseous, and her stomach churns every time he thrusts in all the way, her trembling and tense body still unwilling to accept him there. She hears a choked and broken little sound ring out into the air, and realizes with a strange feeling that it came from her.  
  
"I suspected," David groans, seemingly out of nowhere. He's still bleeding fairly freely, and it's dripping all over her Fairview sweatshirt every time he rocks his hips into her. There's this bruising feeling every time he thrusts up into her as the head of his cock thuds up into this hard wall inside her guts. It doesn't feel very good, and neither does the way his motions force her to lay flatter against the freezing ground.  
  
"What?" she says, lost. Her voice sounds like a sob to her. She doesn't know what to do with her legs. She ends up clenching her shaky thighs around his middle, not knowing how else to anchor herself. Her hands are going numb where they're laying in the snow at her sides, and she extends her fingers outward, feeling strangely detached from them before she draws them into her sleeves. She tries to let her mind just fuzz out uncomprehendingly, to be away from the present in favor of somewhere in the past, but the raw sensations and feelings of what is happening to her are inescapable. Every raw, sore nerve and skipped heartbeat of terror announces its presence in her body right alongside that deep, penetrating pain in her core that David continues to pound into.  
  
She wishes she still had her mask on.  
  
"That it was all for show." David lets go of her thighs to smooth his hands up the pleats of her skirt, squeezing her hips briefly before finding the ragged hem of her sweatshirt and peeling it up. "That you didn't really know what y'were doin'. Figured you were a _virgin_."  
  
"Stop-" Susie immediately feels the frigid air on her sweat-damp and bare stomach. He yanks the hoodie all the way up to her bra, and when he gets there, he slows his thrusting so that he can just slip a thumb beneath the underwire where the two cups meet and lift it. Her breasts pop free, nipples dark and erect in the filtered grey light. David grins down at her, his expression downright admiring, as he brushes his knuckles against the underside of one of her tits.  
  
"Big tits on such a little gal," he purrs, having gone still inside of her and staring down at her like a lion lording over its territory. His cock still feels so large and solid inside of her, and now that he's not moving, she can feel her cunt just _throbbing_, unused to coping with so much pain and sensation. "Can't go coverin' them with this sweater, now."  
  
He uncurls his fist and clasps her breast in his hand. The flesh swells up in his grip as he clenches, making Susie yelp and whimper, trying to turn away from his grasp.  
  
"That _hurts!_" she cries, her gaze blurry again with anger.  
  
David doesn't let go. "Y'don't say?"  
  
_That_ triggers a flood of rage inside of her. Susie doesn't know just how much more indignity and debasement she can handle. She wishes she were as brave and fierce as Julie. She'd always wanted that. She wants to hiss and spit at him and carve his eyes out with her knife. She wishes she could do something violent to him, _really_ wants it, and not like in a trial, which is how she knows something awful is happening to her: Susie doesn't usually have thoughts like that about other people. Not even now. Not even after becoming one of the Entity's personal killers.  
  
She doesn't know what to do with her anger. Unarmed, she is defenseless. The same weak Susie she had always been. That's the difficult truth. A mask and a knife made no difference to the person she fundamentally was: always the weakest in the link.  
  
"You're awful," she stutters, her voice sounding highly pathetic, even to her. She regrets that she's so weak that she can't even tell her how much she hates him right now, how much she wishes she could plunge her knife right into his face. David only answers her with that smile she'd found so charming before and begins slowly rocking into her again. It hasn't really stopped hurting, even though she can feel herself getting wetter around him and David's cock is starting to make these slick, slapping sounds as he fucks her. She keeps wishing it were over already, even as it gradually becomes easier to endure.  
  
Susie can see how, maybe, she might have liked this experience- in another place, at another time, with a different person. But not now, and not like this.  
  
"_Shit_," David pants indulgently, his hands moving to settle by her shoulders. This lets him fuck her even harder, with more power in his legs, and all Susie can really do is lay there and let him use her pussy all he wants. He's dripping sweat on her now along with the blood, and she's stopped trying to recoil away, but then he says, "Can't believe you really thought you were going to keep this cunt from me."  
  
She finally snaps.  
  
"Shut up!" Susie chokes out, trying to claw at his shoulders. They're slippery with sweat, and her nails just slide right off. "_Fuck you!_" Her voice cracks as she closes her hands into fists and pounds them against his chest. She barely makes an impact against the hard muscles. She can hear the hollow thuds she's making against him, but David doesn't move back.  
  
"_Shhhh,_ he says, lifting a hand. Susie thinks that he's going to motion at her, or grope at her breasts again, but David instead lays his hand over her nose and mouth and presses heavily down, forcing her head back into the snow.  
  
"N-"  
  
Immediately, she realizes that she can't really breathe and begins trying to thrash away again while also attempting to suck in breaths against his warm palm. The panic builds quickly, and, as though even more aroused by this display of fear, David begins fucking into her with new enthusiasm, his weighty testicles slapping into her ass with every thrust. He's going so much easier now, the muscles inside her cunt forced to relax around him simply through brutal repetition. It feels like he fits inside of her now, and Susie can't believe that her body had done something as traitorous as accommodate him.  
  
She tries to scream against his hand, tears spilling down her cheeks. It costs her the rest of her oxygen, and all he does in response is squeeze her face tighter, so much so that she thinks she may leave bruises all over her face. She thinks she may pass out, but she's managing to get just enough oxygen to keep her mind awake. She realizes why David is exerting himself so much only once he pins her hips to the ground with his, grunting. His steady, regular thrusts begin to slow down, like some piece of machinery winding out the rest of its momentum, and she feels him twitch violently both inside of her and on top of her.  
  
Revulsion grips her Susie she realizes what has just happened. She looks up at David's sweaty face, which is paused above her, eyes closed, as if contemplating something. When he opens them, he looks at her for just a second, seeming to look right _through_ her, before he sits up and pulls out. His cock just kind of slides out of her, all wet and sluglike, leaving her feeling raw and hollowed out. She can feel something gush out of her, too, and she lays there contemplating the disgusting feeling of his cum leaking out of her pussy. She remembers how Julie and Frank had just given up on the pretense of condoms altogether in the Entity's realm, now that they were all seemingly immortal and their bodies unchanging, and how Julie had told her that she enjoyed unprotected sex so much more. She'll have to ask Julie what it was she enjoyed about _any_ of this, Susie thinks to herself in a hazy, distant way.  
  
Her cunt hurts both deep inside and right at the entrance. She can feel it throbbing still, and not in a nice way. Like someone's kicked her between the legs. When she reaches down to feel the slick, runny cum dripping out of her, she shudders and pulls her hand back as though it's burned her. She tries to sit up and lift herself with one elbow, rolling her weight onto one hip.  
  
_Maybe he'll leave now,_ she thinks faintly, but then her head jerks to the side as David grabs a handful of her hair and pulls her towards his crotch.  
  
"Clean it up," he says.  
  
Susie looks up into his face, hating him with every single part of her being. His hand in her hair tugs harder, making her whine in pain, and she reluctantly opens her mouth. David uses one hand to slide his dick in over her tongue. His flagging cock is covered in something that's got this whitish, drippy consistency. She doesn't know if it's his cum or hers, and she thinks dully that it probably doesn't matter. It all tastes the same in her mouth- sharp and salty and metallic.  
  
She doesn't know what to do. His cock in her mouth is forcing her jaw open wide, and she can feel the elastics on her braces straining. The swollen organ is strangely hot in her mouth, and her tongue feels sort of a spongy consistency when she puts pressure on it. She tries to swallow and move her tongue, but David pushes his dick in further, and Susie chokes, jerking her head back. He prevents her from coughing properly by grabbing the back of her head with his broad hand and stopping her from pulling her head up entirely. Susie can feel saliva collecting in a disgusting puddle under her tongue, and when he jerks her head forward by the hair, it spills out under his cock and down her chin, making her gag again.  
  
"Don't get sick now," David mutters. He tears his cock free. It's covered in her saliva. She turns away, coughing into her elbow and spitting into the snow as he tucks his dick back into his pants, listening to him zip up. She brings herself upright, and the pain in her core intensifies. She draws her knees together and curls herself up. The snow has soaked through the back of her sweatshirt completely. Her ass is cold and wet, causing a strange clash of sensations in the lower half of her body.  
  
Susie takes in her surroundings. Nothing about Ormond has changed. The resort is still quiet, with the snow drifting peacefully from the sky. She can see the hooks and the generators in their usual spots. Nothing has changed except for what just happened to her.  
  
"Don't move," David says as he slowly rises to his feet, but the warning isn't needed, because Susie feels completely numb. She can see the exhaustion on him, too. She hadn't noticed while he was thrusting away on top of her, but his side is now almost fully saturated in blood. The trial had already taken so much out of him, and now he's covered in sweat from the effort of fucking her, too.  
  
He stands there and stares at her, and she stares back, before he spots something in the snow and leans down to pick it up.  
  
Her knife. Susie stares between it and him, wondering if he intends to kill her. She didn't think she'd be the first one of the Legion to figure out whether or not killers come back from death just as survivors do, but she should've guessed that would be just her luck.  
  
"You can come fetch this at the hatch," he says down at her, flexing his hand around it. Then he flashes his teeth. "'Til next time, miss."  
  
Susie says nothing and simply watches as he walks away, her heart thudding like a death march in her chest. She can't let him hear her cry. She watches him disappear around the side of the chalet. She's not going to follow him, because there's nothing she could do to him to hurt him right now. Not without her knife.  
  
She's just a girl, after all. Just Susie.  
  
Somewhere distant, she hears the heavy trap door of the black lock slam shut, and the sound echoes out all across the grounds of the abandoned resort. In the sky above her, the dark mist thickens and begins to drift down over her, just like the conclusion of any other trial. Typically, if she didn't perform well in a ritual, Susie could feel the Entity's displeasure, which was enough to scare her into putting more effort in, not knowing what would happen if she didn't. But now, she feels nothing from the Entity, like the dark voice that constantly talked in the back of her and her friends' heads has nothing to say about what just happened.  
  
She stares down at her hands. They're bloody and dirty, reminding her of that night in the convenience store, her last night on Earth, when she'd let Frank Morrison's hands wrap around hers to help end a man's life.  
  
Susie doesn't head back to the lodge right away. She instead walks in a catatonic trance over to one of the many cabins scattered throughout the realm, small shacks that had been intended for camping rentals back when the resort still humored dreams of success. Inside, she finds a change of clothes in a closet. They aren't in her style, but she wants nothing to do with the hoodie, skirt, and tights she'd just been wearing. She even replaces her shoes, sliding on a pair of heavy snow boots as she sits gingerly on the dusty old bed, her crotch still hurting.  
  
Outside, Susie dumps her clothing into one of the ever-burning barrels scattered throughout the realm, makeshift fires the Entity had set there to provide light and cover to both killers and survivors. She watches as the clothes go up in flames, releasing harsh black smoke into the sky. She follows it all the way up with her eyes until it disappears.  
  
Back in the lodge, she finds the same Julie, Joey, and Frank as ever. They're lazing around, talking about the bands they miss listening to. It's a typical scene in their slice of purgatory. They greet her the same as ever, with little nods and _what's-up_s.  
  
Susie feels very strange. It feels like a long time since she's seen her friends, like she's aged ten years in a single trial.  
  
"How'd it go, Suze?" Julie's patting the spot next to her on the couches.  
  
Susie makes her way over. None of them notice the stiff way she's walking, or the uncomfortable way she sits down.  
  
She looks between the faces of her friends. When it had come time to take up the knife in that store where their lives had changed permanently, none of them had hesitated. Not like her.  
  
Maybe that was what made her the odd one out.  
  
Plastering a smile on her face that shows her braces, Susie settles next to her best friend and says, "One got away."  
  
"Just one?" Joey asks. Susie nods.  
  
"Too bad," says Frank, dry.  
  
"You'll get 'em next time," says Julie reassuringly, her green eyes soft and expectant.  
  
David's face comes to mind. Susie doesn't know how she's ever going to face him again. How she could ever look him in the eyes and not fall to pieces. She wishes she could throw her arms around Julie and just bawl into her shoulders the way she used to when life was so much simpler, when it was just the two of them and their stupid junior high school problems. But that's not the relationship she has with Julie any more, so she gives the answer she knows her friends want to hear. The answer they need her to give. The answer she _has_ to give, because this is her life now, whether she likes it or not.  
  
"Yeah," says Susie finally, staring out into the fire. She wraps her arms around her body and lets the heat make her eyes water as the numbness of acceptance settles into her like frost. "I think I will."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think ❤


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